Michael: I’m friends with everybody in this office. We’re all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren’t dentist appointments, and that is when it’s nice to let them know that you could beat them up.

“Are we supposed to be okay with Jim and Pam staying in Scranton? ‘Cause I’m not. Jim should be able to have his new awesome job and Pam should realize how exciting that is for both of them. Plus, I’m willing to bet Philly’s way cooler than Scranton.”
“It just said, ‘Gob does his chicken dance.’” And then it was time to create a move that would rival Michael Jackson’s moonwalk in choreographic historical importance.”

JOLLY GREEN JIZZ FACE

this fucking guy. this fucking guy. this fucking guy. this fucking guy. this fucking guy. this fucking guy.

theweekmagazine:

Seinfeld plot: A New York Public Library investigations officer named Mr. Bookman comes after Jerry to track down a copy of the Tropic of Cancer that Jerry took out in 1971 and never returned. At the cost of a nickel a day for 20 years, Kramer surmises, such a long-term offense will cost Jerry $50,000. After conducting his own investigation, Jerry finds that it was the Tropic of Capricorn he returned so many years ago, not the missing Tropic of Cancer. He relents and writes a check (for much less than $50,000) to the library.

Real-life story: On Feb. 4, a branch of the New York Public Library received a long-lost copy ofThe Fire of Francis Xavier, 55 years after it was first checked out. While the real-life literary fugitive wasn’t apprehended by the dedicated efforts of a humorless library cop, he or she clearly felt some shame, opting to send the book through the mail instead of dropping it off in person. 

Seinfeld plots that happened in real life

this list is so good.


…the Chunnel, Dame Judi Dench, Piccadilly Circus and Thomas’ English Muffin

yesterday I was taken through a tour of 30 Rock Center and we got to watch this skit in the middle of the afternoon during rehearsals and I freaked. Hader cracking up is the best.
TV NERD DREAMS COME TRUE! 
…the Chunnel, Dame Judi Dench, Piccadilly Circus and Thomas’ English Muffin

yesterday I was taken through a tour of 30 Rock Center and we got to watch this skit in the middle of the afternoon during rehearsals and I freaked. Hader cracking up is the best.
TV NERD DREAMS COME TRUE! 
…the Chunnel, Dame Judi Dench, Piccadilly Circus and Thomas’ English Muffin

yesterday I was taken through a tour of 30 Rock Center and we got to watch this skit in the middle of the afternoon during rehearsals and I freaked. Hader cracking up is the best.
TV NERD DREAMS COME TRUE! 
…the Chunnel, Dame Judi Dench, Piccadilly Circus and Thomas’ English Muffin

yesterday I was taken through a tour of 30 Rock Center and we got to watch this skit in the middle of the afternoon during rehearsals and I freaked. Hader cracking up is the best.
TV NERD DREAMS COME TRUE!

the Chunnel, Dame Judi Dench, Piccadilly Circus and Thomas’ English Muffin

yesterday I was taken through a tour of 30 Rock Center and we got to watch this skit in the middle of the afternoon during rehearsals and I freaked. Hader cracking up is the best.

TV NERD DREAMS COME TRUE!

(via fuckyeahsnl)

“SUCK IT NERDS! Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn’t cried once today? THIS GUY!”
— Liz Lemon
this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show. this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show.

this was the scene that made me fall in love with the show.

(via youtastelikeaburger)

TEARS. OF. LAUGHTER.
BEST. BEST.
“Any restaurant that serves anything in a fuckload is NOT a nice restaurant.”
— Dan, VEEP