theweekmagazine
theweekmagazine:

Seinfeld plot: A New York Public Library investigations officer named Mr. Bookman comes after Jerry to track down a copy of the Tropic of Cancer that Jerry took out in 1971 and never returned. At the cost of a nickel a day for 20 years, Kramer surmises, such a long-term offense will cost Jerry $50,000. After conducting his own investigation, Jerry finds that it was the Tropic of Capricorn he returned so many years ago, not the missing Tropic of Cancer. He relents and writes a check (for much less than $50,000) to the library.
Real-life story: On Feb. 4, a branch of the New York Public Library received a long-lost copy ofThe Fire of Francis Xavier, 55 years after it was first checked out. While the real-life literary fugitive wasn’t apprehended by the dedicated efforts of a humorless library cop, he or she clearly felt some shame, opting to send the book through the mail instead of dropping it off in person. 
7 Seinfeld plots that happened in real life

this list is so good.

theweekmagazine:

Seinfeld plot: A New York Public Library investigations officer named Mr. Bookman comes after Jerry to track down a copy of the Tropic of Cancer that Jerry took out in 1971 and never returned. At the cost of a nickel a day for 20 years, Kramer surmises, such a long-term offense will cost Jerry $50,000. After conducting his own investigation, Jerry finds that it was the Tropic of Capricorn he returned so many years ago, not the missing Tropic of Cancer. He relents and writes a check (for much less than $50,000) to the library.

Real-life story: On Feb. 4, a branch of the New York Public Library received a long-lost copy ofThe Fire of Francis Xavier, 55 years after it was first checked out. While the real-life literary fugitive wasn’t apprehended by the dedicated efforts of a humorless library cop, he or she clearly felt some shame, opting to send the book through the mail instead of dropping it off in person. 

Seinfeld plots that happened in real life

this list is so good.

The Boyfriend

  • JERRY: It's been three days and he hasn't called.
  • ELAINE: Well maybe you should call him.
  • JERRY: I can't ... I can't
  • ELAINE: Why not?
  • JERRY: I don't know. I just feel he should call me.
  • ELAINE: What's the difference?
  • JERRY: You don't understand, Elaine. I don't want to be overanxious. If he wants to see me he has my number, he should call.
  • ELAINE: Yech, look at this ashtray. I hate cigarettes.
  • JERRY: I can't stand these guys. You give your number to them and then they don't call. Why do they do that?
  • ELAINE: I'm sorry honey.
  • JERRY: I mean, I thought he liked me. I really thought he liked me. We were getting along. He came over to me I didn't go over to him.
  • ELAINE: No,
  • JERRY: Why did he come over to me if he didn't want to see me?
  • ELAINE: I know.
  • JERRY: What did he come over to me if he didn't want to see me? I mean here I meet this guy this great guy, a baseball player, best guy I ever met in my life. Well that's it. I'm never giving my number out to another guy again.
  • ELAINE: Sometimes I've given my number out to guys and it takes them a month to
  • call.
  • JERRY: Huh, good, good... well if he's calling in a month he's got a prayer!
  • ELAINE: You know maybe he's been busy. Maybe he's been out of town?
  • JERRY: Oh, they don't have phones out of town? Why do people say they're too busy. Too busy. Pick up a phone! It takes two minutes. How can you be too busy?
  • ELAINE: Why don't you just go ahead and call him?
  • JERRY: I can't call here, it's a coffee shop. I mean what am I going to say to him?
  • ELAINE: Just ask him if he wants a to get together.
  • JERRY: For what dinner?
  • ELAINE: Dinner's good.
  • JERRY: Don't you think that's coming on a little too strong? Isn't that like a turn off?
  • ELAINE: Jerry, He's A GUY!
  • JERRY: Well this is all very confusing.

this morning, reality.

  • George: What is that, Boyfriend? I don't understand that. What, what does she think I asked her out for?
  • Jerry: Boy, It's the way they just slip that in there too.
  • George: Yeah, like it's just part of the conversation. “Oh my boyfriend really likes watches. He's a real watch freak.” Well that's fabulous. (snaps fingers in the air a couple of times)
  • Jerry: Well let me ask you this. What exactly did you say when you asked her out?
  • George: I said, “would you like to go for a walk or something.”
  • Jerry: Oh, a walk, well --
  • George: Or something. I said, “Or Something!”
  • Jerry: Or something. Yeah, that's a date.
  • George: (snaps fingers) There you go.
  • Jerry: You know there is always the possibility, that she called an audible.
  • George: What do you mean?
  • Jerry: Well she got up to the line of scrimmage, didn’t like the looks of the defense and changed the play.
  • George: I think things were going ok. We were having a nice conversation.
  • Jerry: Uh huh.

GPOY: Part II

  • Elaine: Come on. Let's go do something. I don't want to just sit around here. Wanna get something to eat?
  • Jerry: Where?
  • Elaine: I don't care. I'm not hungry.
  • Jerry: We could go to one of those cappuccino places. They let you just sit there.
  • Elaine: What are we gonna do there, talk?
  • Jerry: We can talk.
  • Elaine: I'll go if I don't have to talk.
  • Jerry: Then we'll just sit there.

for once, I'm with George on this one.

  • GEORGE (defensive): Well...I was in the locker room showering, and I...I had to go, so...
  • JERRY: Here we go.
  • GEORGE: Anyway, I think the guy in the shower opposite saw me. He gave me a dirty look.
  • ELAINE: You went...in the shower?
  • GEORGE: Yeah, so what? I'm not the only one! <Kramer enters with his quilt.>
  • ELAINE (to Jerry): Do you go in the shower?
  • JERRY: No, never.
  • ELAINE (to Kramer): Do you?
  • KRAMER: I take baths.
  • GEORGE: Well, what was I supposed to do? Get out of the shower, put on my bathrobe? Go all the way down to the other end? Come all the way back?
  • ELAINE: Ever hear of...holding it in?
  • GEORGE: Oh, no...no, that's very bad for the kidneys.
  • ELAINE: How do you know?
  • GEORGE: Medical journals!
  • JERRY: Do the medical journals mention anything about standing in a pool of someone else's urine?