But hey, I’m a tool guy. I won’t even wear flip-flops when I’m driving, because when something goes wrong, like a flat tire, I want sturdy shoes so I can hop out and use the necessary tools. This is not a burden. Dirtying my hands is not a bummer. The ability to use implements to improve is a bona fide superpower, and it’s my duty to put that power to use. Once you strap on a tool belt, the benefits become obvious. When your friends see the quilted maple blanket chest you made your wife for Valentine’s Day, they will both admire you and despise you, because all their wives will think you’re a champion. Proven fact: Women have a visceral reaction to a man who works with his hands. Flowers are a great gesture, but flowers in a handmade vase? Boom. Wood-burn a love note on the vase? Kabang. You’re a Viking. Prepare to pillage.