this place is not like in the movies

everything you see on TV or in the movies that’s from LA is actually quite small and disappointing IRL. and yes, that is what she said.

I walked into Kat Von D’s tattoo studio, it’s about the same size as mine back and home and just as UNglamorous.

then I saw Pink’s hot dog stand which is basically a shack.

the only cool thing was driving up some mountain to see the Hollywood hills. still, that Hollywood sign is a joke.

the Chinese theatre and red carpet areas are also quite dull, even down to the street where all the stars are.

I mean it’s cool to see everything in person for once, but man, this city really is just so blah.

I should have been smart and booked a tour to go on set of my fave shows. damnit.

if it wasn’t for friends picking me up and driving me around to show me some cool spots, I would’ve hiked it back to the bay.

paparazzi update: there is a red carpet premiere tonight for Rio, the animated movie

postcard update: someone’s getting a tacky Observatory postcard and will have to deal with it

celeb update: only seen prostitutes disguised as celebs and those fake spiderman guys

really? this is America’s best rated hostel?

I arrived in LA and within an hour, I hated it. this is NOT my kind of city.

I spent an hour and a half on one of those shuttle buses (refer to Arrested Development’s “Public Relations” episode with the scene of Tobias meeting Carl Weathers, and you’ll get it) just taking FORFUCKINGEVER to get places. there’s way too many streets and lights here, and I have no patience.

I got to my hostel and immediately upon entering I went “FUCK” - I remembered it’s a weekend in fucking LA and it’s already bumpin’ and it smells like dudes in my room and there’s a bunch of Australians and Euro guys partying it up in the front porch. kill me.

also: my room wasn’t ready. neither did they have my key ready. so I threw all my shit down on the bed and left.

thankfully, like 10mins later Martina and Connie pulled up to save my ass. bitches is crazy. we hit up In ‘N Out animal style which again, took forever but worth it. burger itself was pretty good but the fries were nothing memorable. we discussed addictive tv and bad habits, and judged everyone near us.

next up: Ameoba Music for some shopping. I scored the first season of Seinfeld for $15.

then we drove off to the mountains for the Griffith Observatory where Connie proved her science and astronomy intelligence, and I just roamed around taking pics. the view was great and that Hollywood sign? ITS SO FUCKING SMALL. goes to prove how fake this town is.

after a few hours hiking it around there we drove up and down Hollywood Blvd. it’s amazing how true the stereotypes are here. this scene is just douchebags and trashy girls. I mean, really? THIS is the life you chose? PASS.

I already hate this city but I think it’s just innate as a New Yorker. I intend to be the Larry David of this city.

next on my plate: Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles with Mukta, some event with the Vagabond 3 crew, day trip to Santa Monica & Venice Beach, and walking about.

if I don’t see paparazzi or celebs, I’m flipping tables.



Last October, LA held it’s first CicLAvia, closing off 7.5 miles of streets to car traffic, and turning it into a temporary public space for bicyclists and pedestrians. In less than 2 weeks, LA will hold it’s second CicLAvia, once again closing streets to car traffic, and creating an…

Martina, Connie, and Mukta - LETS DO THIS

hey LA peeps, so one of my favorite travel sites, Atlas Obscura, is hosting an international day of oddities called Obscura Day in which you get behind the scenes tours of unique, historical, mysterious spots in various cities. looks like they’ve got some events listed for LA including:

  • Dinner and Magic at the Magic Castle
  • Dead Saints, Fulgarites, and Botanical Expeditions

  • Paranoia bike ride throughout Los Angeles

tickets are being sold out ASAP but I’d like to go to one if possible. anyone interested?!