Broken down further, women are more likely than men to live paycheck to paycheck
good lord what I would give for a toasted everything bagel with scallion cream cheese right now. or the $ to afford it AND rent.
It’s not only that rents are rising; it’s also that a growing part of the population is trying to live in New York City on very modest incomes. According to the city’s own poverty measure, roughly 46 percent of New Yorkers were what is considered “near poor” in 2011. For a family of four, that means earning under $46,000 annually. With incomes that low, the Furman Center says that nearly a third of New Yorkers were what is called “severely rent burdened” in 2011 - which means they were spending more than half their monthly income on rent.
anyone wanna move to Philly with me? who needs a 4am last call anyway when you can have chzsteaks whenever your heart desires?!
By the way, if you’re joining a company pre-salary, you’re a founder and deserve all the respect and privileges that come with being one: investor contact, full autonomy over your work, only fireable with a board vote, and whatever job title you want (except for CEO and possibly CTO). If you’re not getting these, then ignore everything else, do yourself a favor, and find a real job.
nothing has changed. falsely hopeful that all this hard work would actually pay, but nope. sitting here as I always do in the red contemplating how I can afford to buy groceries today.
everything is always just the worst.
this’ll be interesting.
and you wonder why so many people don’t have a proper savings account accrued in this city.
as a follow up to this:
starting March 1st I will be no longer doing pro-bono / favor gigs. it’s become very clear to me in the last few months how valuable I am, and even the smallest favors cost me time, energy, contacts, and yes - money. when you sign on to have a bunch of side gigs and still are living off unemployment, there’s a problem. and when people don’t return favors even when you bust your ass off for them, that’s even worse.
so it’s time to put up or shut up. I love helping people out - especially if I know you and admire your work - but if you really think I’d be so awesome as your “ambassador” then you’d fit me into your budget, somehow.
consider this a consultation fee. I’ll be working on a new rates sheet. expect to be billed.
I should be asleep and relaxed but I’m not. in fact, I’ve been going to bed angry ever since I got home. I’ve been somewhat productive, but more so … not. I’ve actually been stressed and aggravated.
I came here to start anew. but I’m just reminded of the things that have always pissed me off. one of the first conversations I had with my mom when I got here was that my student loan debt was too high and that something had to be done. the next little jabber was that I needed to get a job. cool. because it’s really that easy.
it’s not that I won’t accept responsibility on either of those matters - it’s the fact that this is the umpteenth time we’ve circled these issues.
I come home every time to see my sister throw money away in my parents face. and every time, she gets away with it. she has no responsibilities, she has no real job and never had one, she just gets cash on a regular basis to “take care of her college expenses” but really just goes on shopping sprees. and then suffers no consequences. instead, I’m the one who has to hear on the phone my mom complaining that she won’t grow up and get herself a job. she has no idea what it is to hustle to pay bills or work for a paycheck. and it angers me. but it angers me beyond belief that my parents let it go year after year.
instead, though I need more money than I’ve ever needed in my life, I can’t go to them for help. I can’t ask them to pay my loans off or lend me money for rent because I immediately feel guilty. they can’t afford to help me out, because they’re busy giving her $100 to run around campus, go to parties, and see her boyfriend each weekend. so I come home to see her new shoes she just bought while I’m debating if it’s a good idea to buy myself lunch at Panera tomorrow since rent is due next week.
it angers me that my parents screwed up my college career by fucking up the loan process, rendering me with nearly $100,000 in student loans. it angers me that they assume I can just get any job to pay them off. it doesn’t work that way. I’ve been at this for nearly 3 years, and receiving salary checks after salary checks, but each month coming up short. it angers me that they haven’t stepped up to the plate to take ownership of the debt - the mess that they created - to help me out. and it’ll never change, because I couldn’t tell them to their face, though I’m very close to it. they just don’t get how much debt they laid on my lap when I graduated and that I will be struggling now for the rest of my adult life to repay this education. it’s just a never ending circle of financial crisis.
today I job searched for roughly 20mins before I gave up. I know in the back of my mind I won’t ever make enough money to break even. no matter what lousy job I land, it won’t be enough. and surely, the fun jobs won’t pay enough.
I hate that I have to lead a life defined by the money you make. I hate that this family has always been a family struggling to make ends meet. I hate that I’m now carrying this debt over my shoulders and there’s just nothing that can be done. if someone gave me a $5,000 check - heck even a $10,000 check - right now, I wouldn’t be close to paying off even ONE of my loans. sucktacular.
I don’t know really what the goal is to write this but having it on my mind and rotting up my thoughts isn’t helping my so called “break.” perhaps this week when they ask me again if I need money, I’ll blow up and finally get this all off my chest.
sometimes I wish I never went to college, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with this for the rest of my life.