it’s amazing that listening to all the Beyonce songs and having a boyfriend who calls me beautiful on a daily basis I can still feel incredibly self-conscious for the day because I forgot my foundation and my makeup looks terrible and I didn’t get to do my hair the way I wanted because I still remember being in 7th grade when two dumb boys asked me if I wore makeup I said no I don’t like it and they laughed to themselves and said “well, you really should start”. like I feel legit gross today. I never wear makeup on weekends or even do my hair leaving the house. but showing up to work with little makeup and kinda messy but not really hair is driving me insane today. like I feel everyone is staring and thinking I look gross.

oh and I work next to beauty editors so I feel even more self-conscious having to look at their perfectly done up faces all day.

what is my problem. what are all girls’ beauty problems.

it feels really good to step up my wardrobe by purchasing 1 staple, quality (read: $$$) item so I can look more of a lady at work.

so far, I’ve bought:

  • crisp white button down
  • classic black blazer
  • pair leather flats/loafers
  • long black winter peacoat
  • under-eye concealer (for those longggg days)
  • maroon-red lipstick (for every day lip poppin’)

I’m still that girl who’d rather come to the office in sweat pants with no makeup and hair up in a messy bun, but, I don’t work from home anymore so I gotta just step it up and look decent.

and yes, the menswear look[s] are still going strong. watch for more reblogs inspiration coming soon.

am I the only girl who cannot wait slash feels the best when at home, in bed, bra-less, wearing sweats and having her face covered in an acne mask with a messy bun? because it’s taking everything in me to stay here in greasy makeup as I try to remain presentable at the office. 

oh, also,

I decided for this autumn I am going to embrace the menswear look. which means a ton of flannel, layers and scarves, skinny jeans, and blazers and chuck taylors and Vans. you can blame the girly girls I stumbled upon in an office yesterday. unless its a sundress, I ain’t being a girly girl with my wardrobe. 

bring on the Uniqlo chino pants and H&M jackets. 

(also if anyone wants to join my shopping efforts, holla atcha girl)

I gotta give up this idea in my head that I’m going to be this lady that will one day look just like these tall blonde girls with the perfect hair and nice clothes and cute nails. I don’t know why I keep thinking it’ll happen for me, and with every new zit I feel popping up all over my face I let out another sigh of disappointment that even my skin is rebelling against me and keeping me from being pretty. I still have the face of a 12 year old and maybe that’s why no one can ever take me seriously. When I try to look nice and wear adult clothes I completely get it wrong and immediately would rather be under the sheets in pajamas sobbing to myself. I’m not pretty, I’m not what an adult 27 year old Latina should look like, and I don’t have the money to keep up with others good looks. I should just give in let myself look like a fugly skank and just deal with it. I should be content enough that my boyfriend is pleased with how I look and dress and leave it at that. Everything else is just a fail.

just reading through a #realtalk feminism article that references Beyonce and Jay-Z’s relationship written by Ann Friedman. dying of perfection. see below:

Women who have their own income are less likely to stay in an abusive relationship. And as they age, financial security is alsocorrelated with happiness.

In other words, for a certain subset of the creative class, dependence is a privilege.

 The creative world fetishizes young entrepreneurs and auteurs. As we age, most of us become more risk-averse. 

it’s clear that for creatively ambitious women, independence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. To make the upfront investment of time and resources that creative success often requires, a financially supportive partner is a major boon. To paraphrase Queen Bey, “If you liked it then you shoulda put some capital behind it.”