If you have something to say, here’s what you do: You write it down on a piece of paper, you go out in the lobby, and then you go home and you kill yourself.
![Jerry Seinfeld: They say “life’s too short” I say it’s way too long. There’s something to that. Do you think that’s how life ends? Really just go “Enough. I had enough.” Tell me, aside from that, (having kids), what isn’t just completely brain-numbingly repetitive?
Colin Quinn: Everyone says Downtown Abbey’s pretty good.
[this episode takes place in one of my favorite places on earth: Red Hook]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mabgd637YL1qzumfao1_1280.png)
![Jerry Seinfeld: They say “life’s too short” I say it’s way too long. There’s something to that. Do you think that’s how life ends? Really just go “Enough. I had enough.” Tell me, aside from that, (having kids), what isn’t just completely brain-numbingly repetitive?
Colin Quinn: Everyone says Downtown Abbey’s pretty good.
[this episode takes place in one of my favorite places on earth: Red Hook]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mabgd637YL1qzumfao2_1280.png)
Jerry Seinfeld: They say “life’s too short” I say it’s way too long. There’s something to that. Do you think that’s how life ends? Really just go “Enough. I had enough.” Tell me, aside from that, (having kids), what isn’t just completely brain-numbingly repetitive?
Colin Quinn: Everyone says Downtown Abbey’s pretty good.
[this episode takes place in one of my favorite places on earth: Red Hook]
John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show Returns Friday, July 20 at 11/10!
Have you been hearing fireworks at night all week and wondering what all the fuss is about? Turns out everyone’s just super excited for a new season of John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show.
It premieres in two weeks and will feature performances by (deep breath!) Hari Kondabolu, Mark Normand, Ben Kronberg, Wyatt Cenac, Jared Logan, Adam Newman, Emily Heller, Hannibal Buress, Leo Allen, Al Jackson, Sheng Wang, Marc Maron, Mike Lawrence, Andy Zaltzman, Kurt Braunohler, David O’Doherty, Michael Che, Iliza Shlesinger, Michael Ian Black, Dan St. Germain, Adam Lowitt and Dana Gould.
Okay, you watch the trailer. I’m gonna get my inhaler.
I went to a taping of this and can assure you that it’s worth tuning in for!!
so did I! yay! comedy shows!
“don’t have a family, don’t get married, don’t have any responsibilities.”
thanks, iTunes movie rentals!
hilarious.
Aziz Ansari goes to Japan | GQ
- "You are on television?" one of the girls asked Ansari. He allowed that he was.
- "What program would I know about?"
- "Have you seen Friends?"
- "Yes!" all the girls said simultaneously.
- "I played Chandler," said Ansari. "Indian Chandler."
Oh God, why am I even here, I don’t fit in. FreeWifiFreeWifi, that’s the key. Did I just see someone walk in wearing a fedora? I’m dead.
All right, let me get a little something to sip on. What’s the person in front of me ordering? A tall half-skinny half-1% split quad shot…
spot. on.
Will Ferrell won the 2011 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Unfortunately, Larry David, Sarah Silverman, Amy Poehler, Zach Galifianakis, Eva Mendes, Christina Applegate, Maya Rudolph and Jon Heder were unable to attend the ceremony, so we asked them to record these fond personal memories of Will.
[via funnyordie]
LD. LARRY DAVID. HIS FACE WITHIN 2 SECS. I DIE.
(via ifc)
!!!
Aziz Ansari, Dave Attell, and Louis CK.
why have I not been here yet?!
hold the phone. forget every travel tip I’ve ever shared. toss out your guidebooks.
THIS is your new favorite travel program. by far the funniest, most entertaining, and enlightening experience you’ll ever have.
