So my rule is that if you have someone or something that gets 70 percent approval, you just do it. ‘Cause here’s what happens. The fact that other options go away immediately brings your choice to 80. Because the pain of deciding is over.

"And," he continues, "when you get to 80 percent, you work. You apply your knowledge, and that gets you to 85 percent! And the thing itself, especially if it’s a human being, will always reveal itself—100 percent of the time!—to be more than you thought. And that will get you to 90 percent. After that, you’re stuck at 90, but who the fuck do you think you are, a god? You got to 90 percent? It’s incredible!"

despite the kind of disappointing fact that this audience is entirely boring and hardly laughed, this video is very  important and basically sums up how I feel about women in media today (previously). 

please note Amy’s comments on diversity as more than just race and ethnicity but rather point of view because life is more diverse now, Comedy Central’s focus on content being funny NOT marketing towards gender stereotypes, and the authenticity behind each episode because the writers are their own characters. 

this video combines all my obsessions: comedy, female-first talks, and television.

also, if you haven’t watched Broad City yet you are the worst. 

I really feel like our whole lives, no matter how low our self esteem gets, there’s a part of us that thinks, ‘I have a secret, special skill that no one knows about.’ And, eventually, we meet someone who’s like, “You have a secret, special skill.” And you’re like, “I know! So do you!”… And then you’re like, “We should eat pizza ice cream together.” And that’s what love is. It’s this mountain of pizza ice cream and delusion.
Mike Birbiglia, Sleepwalk with Me

Jerry Seinfeld: They say “life’s too short” I say it’s way too long. There’s something to that. Do you think that’s how life ends? Really just go “Enough. I had enough.” Tell me, aside from that, (having kids), what isn’t just completely brain-numbingly repetitive?

Colin Quinn: Everyone says Downtown Abbey's pretty good.

[this episode takes place in one of my favorite places on earth: Red Hook]

comedynerdsunited

comedynerdsunited:

comedycentral:

John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show Returns Friday, July 20 at 11/10!

Have you been hearing fireworks at night all week and wondering what all the fuss is about? Turns out everyone’s just super excited for a new season of John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show.

It premieres in two weeks and will feature performances by (deep breath!) Hari Kondabolu, Mark Normand, Ben Kronberg, Wyatt Cenac, Jared Logan, Adam Newman, Emily Heller, Hannibal Buress, Leo Allen, Al Jackson, Sheng Wang, Marc Maron, Mike Lawrence, Andy Zaltzman, Kurt Braunohler, David O’Doherty, Michael Che, Iliza Shlesinger, Michael Ian Black, Dan St. Germain, Adam Lowitt and Dana Gould.

Okay, you watch the trailer. I’m gonna get my inhaler.

I went to a taping of this and can assure you that it’s worth tuning in for!!

so did I! yay! comedy shows!